How to Host a Tea Party – The Essential Guide for Tea-Lovers

Do you want to host a tea party but you’re not quite sure about all the details? Then you’re in the right place! In this post, we’re going to go over everything you’ll need to know to host a fun and memorable tea party – with a few extra special touches thrown in.

Why Host a Tea Party?

Why host a tea party? Because it’s different and fun! A tea party is more than an afternoon snack, it’s an experience!

Most people don’t have tea parties very often – if ever – so it’s something really unique. The setting, the food, the beverages, are all different from the usual, and this may even be the first time some of your guests have been to one. A tea party is made up of lots of small thoughtful pieces, and they all combine to make your guests feel honored and appreciated.

Tea parties have been enjoying a renaissance in the last few years. People are inheriting their parents’ or grandmothers’ china and tea sets, or they’re watching Bridgerton, or reading Jane Austen, and they see how much fun it is to do something a little different and a little elegant. It’s so nice to take time out from the busyness, slow down, and just relax and enjoy.

Planning – Host a Tea Party with the Five W’s

The key to a special tea party is, of course, planning. I have a system I’ve developed over the years, that I use for any kind of gathering. I call it the W’s – What, Why, When, Where, and Who. We talk about these separately, but in practice, it’s usually one or two of them that start you off, then you’ll consider all of them together.

I like to sit down and brainstorm for each category, and see where they all intersect. Then make my plan. We’ll walk through the planning process for each one, then you can go back and brainstorm for your own tea party.

Or if you want to, go grab your own copy of the Perfect Tea Party Planner now – it’s only $19 for all the worksheets and tea/food prep tools you need. Then come back and plan your tea party as we go along.

So off we go!

The What

The What in this case, is a tea party. You might already have an idea of how you want it to be – extra fancy English style, spring garden style, western ranch, vintage glamour, or everyday casual – whatever appeals to you. There are a few different categories involved in The What.

Choosing a Theme

It’s great to have a theme to make planning easier, and it makes the party itself more cohesive too. Most people think of dressing up – maybe even wearing fancy hats – for a tea party. And that’s a lot of fun. But it doesn’t have to be extra fancy unless you want it to be.

Your theme could be anything – your favorite color, or the season. (Maybe springtime peach!)

Maybe you want to plan around an upcoming holiday. If you’ll have a guest of honor, you might choose something they love – the symphony, Disney, bike riding, books, or a favorite hobby – and use that as a touchstone for your planning.

Decorations

• A tablecloth really sets the tone for a tea party. You could choose a traditional white one, or whatever suits your theme.
• A tiered tray is a quintessential tea party item. It’s the one thing outside of a teapot, that almost everyone recognizes as “Tea Party.”
• Fresh flowers are always wonderful. One fun idea is to do several small arrangements in teapots, teacups, creamers, or sugar bowls, down the middle of the table or at each place setting.
• Then there are place cards. They add such a fun and personal touch.
• Banners, string lights, paper lanterns, balloons, bunting, statuettes, posters, or anything that relates to your theme, are great decorations.

Games & Entertainment

Music is always a nice touch at a tea party or any gathering. You can key it to your theme, or it can just be something you or your guest of honor would like. You’ll probably want the music to be in the background for the actual tea drinking/food eating portion of the event. Usually, one of the points of a tea party is to relax and it might be a little difficult if your music selection makes your guests want to get up and dance! You could save the louder, more dancy music for game time.

And a few games are always fun if you have the time and the inclination, especially if any of the guests are children. A scavenger hunt or search of some kind, usually for tea-based items, is always good to keep the kids busy. (Adults might like them too!) And a tea-based word search or trivia game is always fun.

The Why

The Why can be any reason or no reason. Maybe you’ve just always wanted to host a tea party, and now feels like the time. Maybe it’s Mother’s Day or a milestone birthday. Maybe you’re celebrating a graduation or promotion or reuniuon. Your Why will influence any or all of the other W’s, like the decorations, entertainment, location, or even tea and treats.

The When

Like all the other W’s, the When can be the starting point for your whole tea party. Maybe you’ve always wanted to host a tea party out in the garden when the tulips are blooming. In that case, you’ll want to hold it during tulip season. If it’s for a graduation, you might want to have it directly after the commencement ceremonies.

If you want to have your tea party on a specific date, then everything else flows from there. On the other hand, if the date is flexible, you can come up with the other W’s first, and fit the date in when it’s convenient.

The Where

The Where for your tea party could be anywhere you want. You just need to take a few things into account. If the party is in honor of someone special, you’ll want to consider their comfort and enjoyment above all else. If they love to run around outside and the weather seems likely to cooperate, then a backyard or woodland setting would be just the thing.

Or maybe they’ve sighed longingly when looking at a photo of a beautiful silver tea service or they love Downton Abbey. In that case, you’ll probably want to set up your tea party in more elegant surroundings – maybe by the fireplace or in patio garden or a formal dining room.

Sometimes the juxtaposition of elegant and casual can be extra fun – a beautiful tablecloth and fancy décor on a picnic table in the park, for instance. How you’ll transport your items, and what foods you want to serve will obviously play a role in choosing your location. And of course, you’ll need to make sure you’ll be able to have hot tea wherever you host a tea party.

Notes for Hosting a Tea Party Outside

An outdoor tea is wonderful, but there are a few things to watch out for. Like the weather, of course! There’s always the possibility that it’ll be too hot, too cold, too wet, or too windy, so it’s always good to have an indoor backup plan.

Weather

But there are also some ways to work around the weather, like tents or covered areas in case of rain. Or protected areas, outdoor heaters and lap blankets, or fans (both handheld or room-sized,) in case of temperature extremes. You could hold your tea party earlier in the day, or after the sun has gone down, to take advantage of cooler temperatures. There’s nothing that says you have to host a tea party only at 4:00pm!

If it’s just windy enough to flap your tablecloth but not enough to blow your tea away as you pour, you might get some tablecloth weights instead of moving inside.

Insects

Flying critters are another annoyance that could make your outdoor party uncomfortable. But some people have had good luck with citronella candles/torches, or basil or catnip plants. You can put them around your tea area, or in your table décor to deter the bugs. Or you could use a mosquito repellent lantern. I love these. They do a good job, and they don’t have a scent to mess with the aromas of your teas.

Food Safety

Be sure to cover or chill any food that will be staying outside or will be unattended for any length of time. You don’t want your sandwiches to get too hot, for instance, (especially if there’s mayonnaise in them) or your desserts to melt. If this is likely to be a problem, you can serve them from dishes embedded in an ice bucket, and keep it in the shade.

Other Miscellaneous Problems

You’ll also want to watch out for blowing dirt, or unwanted guests besides those insects, like pets or even squirrels! You can buy mesh food covers to make this easy.

Another potential outdoor problem that people might not think of, is uneven ground. Especially if any of your guests are older or unsure on their feet for whatever reason, you don’t want a twisted ankle to spoil your tea party. Check the area you’re going to use, and make sure any trouble spots are marked, or avoided.

The Who

The people you invite are the most important part of the party, and this is often the beginning of your planning. As I mentioned above, if you have a guest of honor, their preferences and needs will be the starting place for most of your planning.

You can have as many guests as you want, but it’ll be most fun if you have 2-6 people at a table so you can all talk easily. If you have more guests, you can set extra tables, or serve buffet style so guests can mingle and chat with everyone.

Host a Tea Party with Tea!

And now for the tea! The most popular teas in the US are black teas, (think Earl Grey or English Breakfast,) and those are perfect to serve. There are lots of other kinds of tea too – green, white, oolong, and herbal teas, among others, and any of them are just fine for a tea party. If you or your guest of honor have a favorite, start there. If nobody has a preference and you have some time for research, you might get a sampler of several types and try them out. Two or three options are good – maybe one black, and one white or green. I like to have an herbal/decaffeinated choice available too.

Types of Tea

Here are some general characteristics to help you decide which teas you might like.

• White – delicate flavor and aroma
• Green – as the name suggests, tastes and smells green – grassy, vegetably, or toasty, mildly astringent
• Oolong – more complex flavor, tastes of flowers or fruit, softly astringent
• Black – most “tea-like,” strongest flavors, and more strongly astringent
• Herbal – tastes and smells like the flowers and herbs used.
• All of these varieties come in different flavors for more specific tastes and aromas.

Tea Preparation

For preparation, there are just a few things to keep in mind.

• Use fresh water that doesn’t have too many chemicals or minerals in it. Bottled or filtered are fine if your tap water isn’t great.
• Generally, the water temperature should be about 212F for black or herbal tea, and 180F for green, white, or oolong.
• Use about a teaspoon of loose tea per 8 oz of water.
• Steep for 3-5 minutes. (Unless they’re very delicate like green or a light oolong. Those can steep for 2-3 minutes.)

Traditionally, each tea is steeped in its own pot, and poured out by the host. (Keeping the tea hot in the pots is why they invented tea cozies! I’ve found that metal pots seem to keep the tea hotter than pots made of other materials. But whatever pot you use, remember to protect your hands when pouring – even tea pots that are cooling off are plenty hot!)

Alternatively, you can have just hot water in the pot, and people can choose their own teas. If you have loose leaf, you can provide tea infuser balls or spoons – maybe even tying a ribbon and tag on to them as place cards.

It’s not as traditional, but you can also use tea bags, especially if you’ve chosen a teabag holder plate as a party favor. Make sure all your teas are fresh.

If you go the hot water route, be sure to set out your tea choices in a pretty display. Take the bags out of their cardboard boxes and arrange them on plates, or put your loose teas in little bowls. It’s never elegant to have a bunch of boxes on the table or sideboard.

Tea Accompaniments

Especially with black teas, you’ll want to have sugar and cream available. Sugar cubes are fun, and then you have a good excuse to get yourself a tiny pair of sugar tongs!

Lots of people use lemon as well, though you won’t want to mix the lemon and cream, as the acid will make the cream curdle. (You could use non-dairy milk if you want to avoid that.) Honey is also great with tea.

Host a Tea Party with Food

There are traditionally three types of food served at an afternoon tea – savories, scones, and sweets. The savories are little tea sandwiches (cucumber is the traditional favorite,) quiches, canapes, etc.; the scones are – well, scones; and the sweets can be little cakes, chocolates, cookies, tarts, or anything sweet and small.

Within those three categories, your choices are wide open. It’s good to choose 2 or 3 varieties per category and plan on at least one or two of each variety for each guest. You can use cookie cutters to make the sandwiches into fun shapes, and remember to always remove the crusts.

Savories, Scones, & Sweets

Besides the cucumber sandwiches, here are some of my favorite teatime treats:

Savories

• Radish & Butter Tea Sandwiches
• Asparagus Prosciutto Quiche Tarts
• Bleu Cheese Chicken Pastry Swirls
• Turkey & Water Chestnut Salad Sandwiches

Scones

• Chocolate Hazelnut
• Lemon
• Walnut & Dried Cranberry
• Macademia Cream Cheese

Sweets

• Earl Grey Chocolate Truffles
• Toasted-Sugar Champagne Cakes
• Cinnamon Swirls
• Caramel Chocolate Cheesecake Bites

You’ll serve these all at one time, either on their own trays, or on the tiered tray. If you’re going with the tiered tray, the savories will be on the bottom, scones in the middle, and sweets on top. Your guests will serve themselves from the bottom up.

It’s always nice to have some pretty fresh fruit available too, and you’ll want some clotted cream, lemon curd, honey, and jam to go along with your scones.

I love to have some bubbly with my afternoon tea. (The addition of champagne is actually called “Royal Tea.”) A signature mimosa, for instance, can be a special extra touch that your guests will remember for a long time. And if you have a guest of honor, it’s a great excuse to toast your them on their special day!

Fortunately, tea party food can usually be prepared ahead of time. If you spend a little time planning, and a little time getting things ready in advance, you’ll be in a great place to host a truly memorable tea party.

Setting the Tea Table

Setting a tea table is actually easier than setting a regular dinner table. Even though you’ll be serving the three different types of food, it’s all served at once, so you have no need for separate courses or plates. One luncheon plate is really all you need. (A luncheon plate is between a salad and dinner plate in size, but if you don’t have them, as most people I know don’t, you can use a regular salad plate instead.)

And since most tea party food is eaten with your fingers, you won’t need much cutlery either. Teaspoons for your tea, and knives for spreading the scone toppings is really all you’ll need. Each person’s knife will go to the right of their plate, with the blade facing inward. If you want to use a pretty knife rest, that would be a nice touch. That way your guests don’t have to mess up their plate or the linen with a jammy knife.

If you’re serving plain water in addition to tea, the water glass goes directly above the knife. If you’re also serving bubbly, the champagne flutes angle down from the water glass. If, as in the picture below, no water is being served, the champagne glass is above the knife. The teacup goes to the right of that, angled down a bit again. All the glassware makes a diagonal line down the right side of the plate.

Host a Tea Party with Extra Special Touches

Entertaining friends and family with a lovely meal is one of the joys of being a host! And when you host a tea party, you’re already a step ahead on the unique and memorable scale. Even so, it’s the little extra touches that make your tea party particularly special.

Invitations

Invitations are so nice for a tea party. Even if you’re only inviting immediate family members, it makes people feel special to get a pretty invitation. I recommend sending it through the mail! That’s so rare, that it really sets the stage for a unique and fun party, and your guests will feel extra special right from the start.

Place Cards

Place cards are lovely at any table, but especially when you host a tea party! It’s the most personalized of personal touches! They can be as elaborate as a custom made statuette in the guest’s likeness, or as simple as a folded tent card with a hand-written name, or anything in between!

The place card goes just above the plate, with the name facing out so your guests can find their seats.

Menus

Another thing that’s really nice, is to have a menu on the table so your guests know what all the delicious looking tea party tidbits are!

Depending on how your table is set up, you could print one out for each place setting, or just one for the whole table. I often print two copies of the menu and put them back to back inside a clear stand so both sides of the table can see.

Party Favors

It’s also fun to give your guests little party favors. If you decorate your table with flowers, for instance, you can give each guest a bouquet. Or decorate each plate with a mini fascinator that they can wear during the party then take home as a souvenir.

It’s also fun to use the place cards themselves as party favors. You could use a decorated teaspoon or infuser spoon tied with a ribbon, a little teabag holder plate shaped like a teapot with a bow on it, or a fun teapot-shaped box full of chocolates or tea. Label them with your guests’ names and put one at each setting.

It’s also fun to use a small pretty frame as a place card holder. They’ll hold the guests’ names during the party, then you can take a group picture and send everyone a copy to put in their frame so they can remember all the fun.

A pretty wrapped gift on the plate is a nice option too, and makes the table look especially festive.

You could even combine the place cards, party favors, and teacups by giving each guest a personalized teacup!

Ideas for the Guest of Honor

If you host a tea party for a particular person, you might want to do something particularly special for them. Here are a couple ideas of thoughtful touches just for them.

• Decorate a special chair
• Make or buy them a sparkly crown or hat/fascinator. Bonus points if it fits the theme.
• Play a game based on their favorite things
• Have an elaborately wrapped present at their place setting

Tea Party Etiquette

There’s lots of etiquette traditionally associated with tea, but these days, just regular good manners will do the job. Remember, etiquette is fine, but mostly just relax and have fun. You don’t want your guests to feel intimidated or embarrassed over not knowing the “rules.”

There are a few traditions that are still practical, especially these days when we aren’t as familiar with the customs as our grandparents were. You can mention these as interesting tea party trivia (before you sit down to tea) if you want.

• Stir your tea in a gentle back and forth motion. The usual method of stirring vigorously in a circle may bang the spoon into the thinner edge of the cup and break or chip it. Tea might slosh over the rim of the cup, too, plus it’s just loud!
• Leave your saucer on the table, and just lift your cup to drink. The only time to pick up your saucer is if you’re moving from the table.
• Don’t put your finger through the teacup handle. Besides being a bit gauche, it might break the handle, or your finger might get stuck – handles aren’t usually very big! Instead, hold the handle between your thumb and index fingers, then use your middle finger to support the cup.
• Do use your fingers to serve and eat your delicious treats, but don’t put your pinky up!

Now You Know How to Host a Tea Party!

I hope you’ve gotten some inspiration, and are ready to host a tea party of your own!

What an incredibly special way to spend an afternoon. This is so much more than just a tea party. It is a gesture, in the face of our crazy world, that beauty, grace, warmth and friendship have extraordinary power.

Kristine

Perfect Tea Party Planner

Remember to grab your Perfect Tea Party Planner for only $19! It’ll make your tea party planning a breeze!

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More Information To Host a Tea Party

If you want more tea party inspiration, here are a couple other tea party posts that you can check out:

• TEA TIME! 10 EASY STEPS TO THROW A JANE AUSTEN-INSPIRED TEA PARTY
• HOW TO ORGANIZE A TEA PARTY THAT’S LOVELY AND FUN

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