Oh No – what if I set the formal table wrong?!?

I can’t even remember how many times I’ve been asked a version of this question! And don’t worry, I’ll show you how to do it. But you know what my first answer always is?

Don’t Worry! While it’s nice, it’s really not as critical any more!

Table setting – and life in general – is much more laid back and non-rule-obsessed than in our grandparents’ day. Nobody is going to be mortally offended if your fork is on the wrong side.

ON THE OTHER HAND I AM a big proponent of having a basic knowledge of the formal table setting. Using a recognized system lets people know more or less what to expect. Also, in these fast and casual times, it’s a lovey extra touch that tells your guests that you took the time and effort to give them a special experience.

(Not that it’s really that much more effort! Once you get used to it, setting a formal table is no more work than setting a regular table!)

Q2: I’m in a hurry – can I just get to the diagram please?

A2: Yup – Click HERE to get your free diagram and subscribe to Mantel and Table!

But if you want more right now, Dear Reader, read on!

(And scroll all the way to the bottom of the post for the shopping portion, if you want to try this at home!)

What Does a “Formal” Table Even Mean?

Just like almost every other word, the meaning of “Formal” has morphed over the last few centuries. I’d bet quite a bit of money that none of us will ever set a truly historically correct formal table. And it depends which era, too – even royalty has changed their definition of formal over time.

But let’s just go with today’s usual definition. If you were to ask me “how should I set a formal table?” you’re probably talking about having special guests over for dinner. You want something fancier than usual, and you plan to serve multiple courses.

Here’s my golden rule:

Barbara’s Formal Table Golden Rule

Your place setting should be pretty/creative/exciting/whatever,

AND

CONVENIENT FOR YOUR GUESTS.

In my opinion, besides stunning beauty, convenience is the biggest consideration. Sure, you could set a table with all the flatware artfully arranged in a bowl in the middle, for instance. But then your guests would have to fish out their spoons while their soup is getting cold!

And although form is obviously important, the name of the formal table setting game is function. If you’re not having soup, don’t set a soup spoon, etc.

But onward – here’s what you came here to find out! Since there are so many different versions of a formal table setting, I’ll tell you about mine. This is what you’ll see on most of my formal table posts.

The Basic Formal Table Idea

There’s one basic idea that will always help for setting a formal table: Outside-In & Top to Bottom.

That’s it. If the items on the table are in the order that you’ll use them, you’ll be fine. And your guests will think you’re totally pro.

Most of these rules originated in convenience and safety – not just snootiness. For instance, the reason the knife is 1″ from the charger is so you don’t accidentally overturn your entire meal by trying to get it out from under the plate!

So with that all understood, here are the steps to setting a formal table.

1 – Tablecloth or Placemat

Don’t you love a snowy white tablecloth? Or one with a pretty color or bold pattern. Or placemats. This is the starting place. (Make sure your linens are reasonably wrinkle-free.)

You’ll need about a minimum of 24″ for each place setting. That’s so your guests have room to eat without bumping into each other.

2 – Charger & Plates

Start with your charger. (This one looks a little lonely, but it’ll have lots of company in a minute.)

A charger is a decorative plate used to define the formal place setting and provide a background for your plates, as well as give a bit of protection to the tablecloth. (Among other historical uses.) Also historically, this plate is removed at a certain point during the meal. But I like to leave it on the table throughout the whole dinner. Shouldn’t your dessert plates have a background too?

It should be an inch from the edge of the table.

Then the dinner plate.

And next, the salad plate.

Ok, here’s something: my mother is Canadian. So I was raised with the tradition of eating the salad last.

By now, I’ve mostly switched to the American way of eating salad first. But if you eat your salad last, then bring out the salad plates after the dinner plates are cleared.

But if you are setting the American way, and say you’re having a seafood cocktail or soup, that bowl goes next. On top, because it’s the first thing you eat.

If you’re having bread or rolls, you put the bread plate at the upper left. I almost never use this plate. Most people I know just put their roll on their dinner plate. Plus it takes up room I could be using for flowers!

3 – Flatware

The silverware is the one that seems to mess people up the most. This is where the Basic Idea comes in especially handy. Use the ones on the outside first. As the first course is cleared, the next silverware in line will now be on the outside! Forks on the left, and knives and spoons on the right.

The dinner fork (the big one) goes an inch from the charger, on the left.

The salad fork (the little one, which sometimes has a crooked or fat tine) goes left of the dinner fork. (Or switch the forks if you eat the salad last.)

The dinner knife, as previously mentioned, goes an inch from the right edge of the charger with the blade facing in.

Your soup spoon, if you’re serving soup, would come next. To the right of the dinner knife.

If you’re having a fish course in addition to the main course, the fish fork will go to the left of the dinner fork. The fish knife, to the right of the dinner knife. (There are forks and knives specifically for fish, but I hardly know anyone who has them. Just use another dinner knife and fork!)

Not everyone has butter knives either. But if you do, they go diagonally across the top of the bread plate. Handle points towards the diner. I only have silver butter knives – no gold. So I used the silver one here for demonstration purposes!

4 – Glasses

Here’s where you can have a lot of sparkle if you want. I almost always want sparkle!

Water glass goes just above the knife.

Red wine to the right of that, angling down toward the edge of the table.

White wine to the right of that, again angling.

If you’re having another glass, like champagne or sherry, you’d put it behind the others. Up between the water and red wine.

5 – Napkin

Use a cloth napkin. Traditionally the napkin is folded into a flat rectangle and set to the left of the forks. Other places – under the forks, on top of the plates, in the water glass – have also become perfectly standard places to put it. Or you can roll it up and use a napkin ring – whatever you like.

The main thing to keep in mind is that it needs to be easy for your guests to get.

Sometimes I like to layer the napkin between the salad and dinner plates.

The reason I feel like I can get away with this is that I often serve buffet style. My guests pick up their salad plates to go to the buffet. When they get back, their napkins are on top, and they can pick them up before they put their salad plates back down.

If I was serving to the table, I wouldn’t make my guests try to slide their napkins out from between the plates. Could be messy, and salad-dumping is not very sophisticated!

6 – Place Card

Place cards are so fun! In my opinion, they’re the thing that makes a formal table setting seem formal!

They go above the plate (or dessert silver) facing your guest. If your dinner party includes people who don’t know each other, you can put the name on both sides. The theory is that it helps the other diners remember who they’re taking to.

But since I usually have a lot of flowers in the middle of the table, the backsides of the place cards aren’t really visible. You can decide what works for you in each situation.

7 – Dessert

If you want the dessert utensils on the table, the dessert spoon and/or fork go above the plate. The spoon handle points to the right, and the fork handle to the left. Alternatively, you can bring the dessert utensils with the dessert when you serve it.

The coffee or tea cups are usually brought out when dessert is served. But (remember when I said there were differences of opinion?) some etiquette books like them on the table.

So if you do set them, they go to the right, below the glasses. And the cup handle is in the 4:00 position! The spoon could be either upside down on the saucer, or set on the table between the soup spoon and knife. Even with all those options, I advise against doing this unless you drink coffee with your actual meal. Cups and saucers take up a lot of room.

8 – Centerpiece

You can use a dizzying variety of things for a centerpiece, but most formal tables use flowers. (Or fruit – fruit is good too.) Flowers are always lovely, and you can do just about anything. You could have one central floral arrangement. Or several smaller arrangements down the center of the table. You could do flowers at each place.

Whatever you like. Just remember to either keep them short enough to see over, or be prepared to move them when people sit down.

9 – Candles

And finally, candles. There’s absolutely nothing like candlelight to elevate your formal table setting. Same as for flowers, there’s no standard way to use them. However you want is best, considering safety, of course!

There. Now you know where everything goes on a formal table, and you can host the traditional fancy dinner of your dreams!

Let me know in the Comments if you have any questions, etc. I’d love to hear your formal table setting tips too.

Happy Dinner!

———- Shop the Formal Table Post ———-

Click on the links below for links to shop the pieces I used for this table. If the exact item isn’t available, I chose a similar option.

(This post includes affiliate links for your convenience.  Read my full disclosure policy here.)

• Ivory Jacquard Tablecloth
• Gold Charger
• White and Gold China
• White Soup Bowls
• Gold Tableware
• Water Glasses
• Wine Glasses
• Crystal Sherry Glasses
• White Napkins
• Napkin Rings
• Gold Confetti Place Cards
• Gold Mercury Glass Votives
• Tea Candles

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